Ep. 299 Why You Feel Behind When Fall Begins and How It Affects Your Nervous System, Stress & Anxiety

What if feeling behind when fall begins isn’t only about your schedule—but about how your nervous system responds to change?
If the shift from summer to fall increases your stress and anxiety in midlife, you’re not alone.
In this episode, you’ll discover:

1. Why your nervous system becomes more alert when life changes rhythm.
2. How that alertness can leave you rushing, catastrophizing, and feeling behind before anything has gone wrong.
3. How noticing what your nervous system is experiencing can help you respond to fall stress with greater calm.

 Take 10 minutes to understand why fall feels so overwhelming and help your nervous system adjust to the change—you’re worth it.

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About the Host: 

MJ Murray Vachon, LCSW, is a seasoned clinician, educator, and host of the podcast Creating Midlife Calm, recognized by Maria Shriver as a “Listen of the Week.” Over the past 40 years, MJ has led more than 50,000 therapy sessions and developed the Inner Challenge mental wellness program and the Inner Challenge Master Class, practical tools for emotional regulation, self-awareness, and resilience taught for more than 30 years in junior high schools and at the University of Notre Dame for freshman football players. Through her podcast, teaching, and coaching, MJ helps people build calmer lives, stronger relationships, and healthier communities.

Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support. 

Transcript

M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW 0:00

In this episode, you'll discover why this time of year can feel overwhelming Welcome to Creating Midlife Calm, the podcast where you and I tackle stress and anxiety in midlife so you can stop feeling like crap, feel more present at home, and thrive at work. I'm MJ Murray Vachon, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 50,000 hours of therapy sessions and three decades of teaching practical science-backed mental wellness welcome to the podcast. I was driving to work the other day, and a car sped past me really fast. Then I hit a red light and noticed there were about 10 cars in front of me. My stomach sank and I thought, "Ugh, summer is over." A few minutes later, it was confirmed as I stopped for a school bus. I could feel my body take on the uncomfortable feeling of anxiety. Nothing had actually happened, but my nervous system already knew we were moving from summer to fall. In this episode, you'll discover why fall feels more stressful than your calendar alone can explain, what your nervous system is actually experiencing as life changes rhythm, and a simple way to begin creating calm before overwhelm takes over. A client walked into my office this week about 15 minutes late. She looked exhausted, but before she even sat down, she apologized. She had to rush home because her son had forgotten his sports physical form. Then there'd been traffic and then another delay. She finally sat down, took one quick breath, and immediately began talking. I gently interrupted her. I said, "I wonder if you could just take 30 seconds or so to let yourself settle before we begin." She looked at me almost surprised. "I don't have 30 seconds. I already lost 15 minutes of this session, so I'm already behind." That sentence stayed with me. I'm already behind. I think you know that feeling. Your watch tells you. Your list tells you. That email from the teacher tells you. And your nervous system tells you. As we continued talking, she said something that was quite descriptive and powerful. "Once August rolls around, my mind feels like a Mixmaster." I asked, "When you say your mind feels like a Mixmaster, what is it actually mixing?" She laughed. "It's mixing too much to do in too little time, and then I'm throwing in catastrophe. I already know we're way overcommitted this fall." I waited a moment, and then I asked, Do you think your stress is coming only from everything you have to do? Or could some of it be coming from what your mind is adding to everything you have to do?" She didn't answer right away. It was one of those moments where I could see the wheels turning in her head. After a few moments, she looked at me and she said, "Do you mean my catastrophizing?" I nodded. Then with her wonderful sense of humor she said, "But that's my special ingredient that my mind keeps adding. I just get so wound up, it almost feels like I can't slow down." Yeah, like the belief that taking a minute to settle at the start of the session will put you too far behind. She shook her head I wasn't trying to convince her she wasn't busy. She was. But together we discovered something else changes at this time of the year, her nervous system. As she transitions from summer to fall, her nervous system becomes more activated and her mind naturally begins doing what anxious minds often do. You may recognize this pattern in yourself. Your mind speeds up. It jumps ahead. It imagines what could go wrong. The schedule was real, but her mind was treating every possibility as though it was already happening Another client had three children in three different schools before school even started, she found herself lying awake at night. She wasn't thinking about what happened that day. Instead, she was planning for the worst. If one child got sick, if someone forgot homework, if traffic was bad, if practice ran late, how would she ever manage three children in three different schools? By 3:00 AM, she had moved from planning to criticizing herself for not living close to family her mind was spinning. Her heart was racing, so she created plan B and plan C. She finally looked at me and said, "I feel like if one thing falls apart, everything will fall apart." Different client, different life, same nervous system. What I've come to appreciate over the years is that fall doesn't only change your schedule. It changes your nervous system. Whenever life changes rhythm, your nervous system naturally becomes more alert. Your body notices before your mind understands why. Then your mind starts to try to help. It speeds up. It plans. It scans for problems. It imagines future obstacles. Soon you begin feeling behind before anything has actually happened. As you ease into this season, start with your nervous system, the part of you that winds you up when your mind catastrophizes and settles when you feel safe and relaxed. My first client believed she didn't have time to calm her nervous system But you already know many ways to help yours settle. Feet on the ground, one slow breath, looking around the room, letting your shoulders soften. You can try this at 3:00 AM, gently focusing on your breath, or when your child texts you reminding you that it's parent night and you had totally forgot Gently remind yourself that at this time of year, your nervous system is adapting to a completely different rhythm. I think this is a really important distinction because if you believe you're overwhelmed simply because there's too much to do, your only solution is to get rid of things. Sometimes that's necessary and very helpful, but often there's another place to begin. Understanding what your nervous system is experiencing and gently tending to it is really where calm begins. So here's your inner challenge for this week. The next time you notice yourself feeling overwhelmed, resist asking, "How am I ever gonna get everything done?" Instead, notice what your nervous system is experiencing. Then give it one small signal that you're safe in this moment. Maybe it's placing your feet on the ground, looking around the room, or taking one or two slow breaths. Remember, awareness is always the first step toward creating calm. In this episode, you discovered that perhaps your nervous system is doing exactly what nervous systems are designed to do whenever life changes rhythm, and recognizing that can change the way you respond to stress this fall. On Thursday's episode, I'm really excited to be joined by Michelle Gothier, a life coach and host of one of my favorite podcasts, Overwhelmed Working Women. She's gonna explore with us some practical ways to help your nervous system adapt to a new rhythm without being overwhelmed. I hope you'll join us. Until Thursday, thanks for listening to Creating Midlife Calm