Creating Midlife Calm: Coping Skills for Stress & Anxiety in Family, Work & Relationships

Ep. 295 Unexpected Lessons A Toddler Taught Me About Rest, Anxiety & Coping Skills in Midlife

MJ Murray Vachon LCSW Season 5 Episode 295

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0:00 | 3:46

What if the kind of rest you’re longing for is something a toddler already knows how to do?
If life has become one long list of responsibilities and expectations, you’re not alone.
In this episode, you’ll discover:

  1. What watching a toddler taught me about leaving the world of doing behind and rediscovering the kind of rest that creates genuine calm.

 Take 3 minutes to rediscover the restful wisdom your two-year-old self never forgot—you’re worth it.

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About the Host: 

MJ Murray Vachon, LCSW, is a seasoned clinician, educator, and host of the podcast Creating Midlife Calm, recognized by Maria Shriver as a “Listen of the Week.” Over the past 40 years, MJ has led more than 50,000 therapy sessions and developed the Inner Challenge mental wellness program and the Inner Challenge Master Class, practical tools for emotional regulation, self-awareness, and resilience taught for more than 30 years in junior high schools and at the University of Notre Dame for freshman football players. Through her podcast, teaching, and coaching, MJ helps people build calmer lives, stronger relationships, and healthier communities.



Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support. 

M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW

Welcome to Creating Calm in the Wild. I'm MJ Murray Vachon, And this is your reminder that calm isn't always found when life settles down. It's something you can create right in the middle of the wild. Today, I wanna share an ordinary moment that reminded me what real rest looks like and why my two-year-old grandson, Neel became my teacher. One of my favorite podcast episodes is number 204, where I share the wisdom I gained when Neil came to Indiana last fall. Whenever he comes to stay for a week, I joke I go on retreat, and he's my retreat master. There's something magical about being two. Erik Erikson believed that this is the age when children are answering one big question: Is it okay to be me? Watching Neel I think he's teaching the rest of us that question, too. This week it was 95 degrees and 80% humidity, so all my plans for us disappeared. Instead, I got invited into Neel's world. To beat the heat, he played with the garden hose. After about forty-five minutes, he filled the dog's water bowl, carefully carried it up five steps across our deck and down five more steps to the old bell in our front yard, his favorite thing at our house. Then he poured the water on the bell. He squealed with delight, turned around, filled the bowl again, and made the entire trip a second time, and then a third, and then a fourth, and soon I lost count. Each journey looked like important work. His face was full of purpose. He never stopped to wonder if what he was doing made sense. Neither did I. Was he watering the bell? Baptizing it? Watering the weeds? I'll never know. What I do know is that he had entered a world where purpose didn't depend on productivity. My only job was to quietly make sure he didn't tumble down the steps while he disappeared into this mysterious little world that brought him joy. About thirty minutes later, he was sweaty and a little wobbly. I said, "Neel I think your body needs a break." He looked up at me and smiled, "Yes, break." Then as he says about everything he treasures, "I put bowl in safe place." For 30 minutes, he had the freedom to lose himself in something completely unproductive. I didn't ask him what he was doing. I didn't turn it into a game. I didn't pull him into my world. I simply joined his. Watching him made me wonder if this kind of experience isn't just for two-year-olds. Maybe it's also for us. When was the last time you lost yourself in something that had no purpose other than bringing you joy? Something that let you step out of the world of accomplishing and back into the world of simply being. I think that's one of the deepest forms of rest. My retreat master highly recommends it. Thanks for listening. I hope you'll join me Monday for another episode of Creating Midlife Calm. Until then, keep creating calm in the wild.