Ep. 209 — The Science of Small Shifts: Easy Midlife Coping Skills That Take No Time But Calm Stress and Anxiety Before The Holidays

Are you taking care of everyone else and forgetting yourself?
You’re not alone — midlife often turns self-care into an afterthought,
In this episode, you’ll discover:
1.    Why micro self-care shifts work better than big resolutions for midlife stress and anxiety.
2.    Four simple, science-backed coping skills that take no extra time and cost nothing.
3.    How to notice when caring for others starts to eclipse caring for yourself — and what to do about it.
 Take 10 minutes to rebuild your calm before the holiday rush — you’re worth it.

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About the Host:
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than 48,000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching her Mental Wellness curriculum, Inner Challenge. Four years ago she overcame her fear of technology to create a podcast that integrated her vast clinical experience and practical wisdom of cultivating mental wellness using the latest information from neuroscience. MJ was Social Worker of the Year in 2011 for Region 2/IN.

Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support.

Transcript

M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW: 0:00

In this episode, you'll discover quick self-care shifts that keep you calm and connected

MJ Murray Vachon LCSW: 0:05

welcome to Creating Midlife Calm, the podcast where you and I tackle stress and anxiety in midlife so you can stop feeling like crap, feel more present at home, and thrive at work. I'm MJ Murray Vachon a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 50,000 hours of therapy sessions and 32 years of teaching practical science-backed mental wellness.

M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW: 0:29

Welcome to the podcast. On Monday, I shared why adding more light to your mornings is one of the smartest self-care moves you can make. This time of year fall shorter days can quietly drain your energy and mood, but that light reset helps your body remember how to feel awake, calm, and steady. It's the perfect example of real self-care. Something small that fits into your life, leans into your biology, and helps you feel better without demanding more from you. In this episode, we're gonna build on this idea of non-demanding self care, where you're gonna discover why micro self-care changes are more effective than big resolutions this time of year for small science-backed ways to restore your calm before the holidays that don't require trips to the gym or lots of time that you don't have. And how to recognize when your care for others starts to overshadow your care for yourself. But let's begin by checking in on Monday's Inner Challenge. Your challenge was to create your own fall light reset, either spending 20 minutes each morning with a light box or swapping one bulb in your workspace for full spectrum. LED. One of my clients put a full spectrum light on his work desk and was amazed how this small shift really helped. That's what happens when you cooperate with your biology. You don't have to overhaul your life. You just have to align with what your body naturally needs at this time of year. Fall is the perfect season for micro changes. Tiny acts of self care that remind you to care for yourself as your focus turns towards others. Remember that idea of temporal landmarks we talked about on Monday? It still applies. This season gives you a natural reset point. Nature is literally modeling rest and recalibration. Why not lean into it heading into November? Your goal can't really be to do less because let's be honest, the holidays are a part-time job. We all pay for, but you can take a few minutes to build easy structures into your day that help you feel better and keep you grounded. These micro shifts don't take time. They give it back. Your goal isn't to do more. It's to integrate small science back changes that help you stay steady when everything around you pulls your attention outward. Because when you forget yourself, your body eventually reminds you Through fatigue, irritability, nighttime waking, or that restless feeling that something's off. These micro shifts are how you listen to that whisper before it becomes a shout. And here's the tricky part. As the season ramps up, caring for everyone else can start to feel like your full-time job. That's often when anxiety, and to be honest, resentment sneak in, not because you're doing too much but because you've stopped tending to yourself the simplest way to notice it when everything on your to-do list serves someone else. And your own name isn't on it. So let me share with you four small self-care micro shifts that you can do that really make a big difference. Why? Because they lean into what your body needs. And after all, self-care really is just giving your body and mind what they need in order to do their job. Self-care. Micro shift number one, drink enough water. Hydration is one of the simplest and most overlooked coping skills. Studies show even mild hydration can increase fatigue, anxiety, and brain fog by up to 30%. The science says aim for half your body weight in ounces of water a day. So if you weigh 160 pounds, that's around 80 ounces, 200 pounds. That's a hundred ounces. You don't have to measure perfectly. Just start early and sip consistently. If that's a lot more water than you usually drink, just add 10 ounces a day. When your body has what it needs, your mind follows. I've worked with thousands of people on this one and the two biggest benefits. Less mind fog and better sleep. Here's a tip, buy a water bottle you actually love. I have a beautiful glass one my daughter bought me. I fell it twice a day at work and each time I do, I think, oh, I love this bottle and I love my kids. That's a small pleasure. Makes it easy to stick with micro shift number two. Take a 10 to 15 minute walk. Movement is medicine. Stanford research shows a 10 minute brisk walk can lift mood for up to two hours. Walking outdoors also boosts oxygen and serotonin. Both reduce anxiety and mental clutter. Plus you get the light therapy we talked about on Monday. The key is to blend this walk into what you already do. Walk around the block while you drink your coffee or have a meeting at Work Park farther away, or take a quick stroll between tasks. Remember, the best walk is the one that actually happens. One client made a deal with herself. She could only scroll while walking. Now, personally, I would trip, but it did work for her because she found that walking while scrolling either made her stop scrolling and do something more productive, or she kept walking and felt better. Remember, lots of people drive to the gym to walk on a treadmill, but you can walk around your house briskly for 10 minutes and get the same effect. Here's the takeaway. Don't have time for a walk. Check how many minutes you scroll and subtract. 10. You'll find your time right there. Self-care, micro shift. Number three, eat breakfast and lunch. Skipping meals spikes cortisol, the stress hormone, and sets you up for overeating later in the day. Balanced meals early in the day, stabilize your blood sugar, which will stabilize your mood. Think protein and fiber, eggs and toast, yogurt and fruit, or leftovers from dinner. When you feed your body regularly, you smooth out the emotional spikes that can mimic anxiety. I can't tell you how many clients skip breakfast or lunch and wonder why they're exhausted or snacking nonstop by four. Here's what I tell them. Grab and go works. Keep healthy protein bars, yogurt cups, bananas or healthy microwave meals on hand. Cook Dinner with the idea that you can use leftovers for lunch. It doesn't have to be fancy. Just eat early and keep your energy even. This is even more important during the holidays where food is everywhere. Want more willpower? Eat breakfast and lunch. Self-care. Micro shift number four, take your phone out of the bedroom. Yep. Studies from the University of Pittsburgh show phone use before bed disrupts melatonin and shortens deep sleep cycle. That's the sleep that helps you feel refreshed. Removing your phone helps your nervous system downshift and signals your body. It's safe to rest. Check out episodes 1 21 and 1 22 for the science. Let's admit it, most of us have a ping pong relationship with our phones. Sometimes they're in our room, sometimes they're out for the holidays. Give yourself the gift of talking it in outside your room. Buy that$9 alarm clock, or go retro and grab one at Goodwill. If you truly need your phone for emergencies, plug it in just outside your door where you can hear it, but have to get up to reach it. Nothing will save your sleep more than this freebie that costs zero time or money. These small steps may not look dramatic, but they're quietly powerful. They don't require time, money, or motivation. They just require awareness and a little bit of intention. So put those post-it notes around that remind you to drink. Walk, eat, and sleep. Yep. That is really the basics of self-care. No need for a fancy gym unless that's your jam. When your thoughts start shifting toward creating a special holiday for everyone else. These habits remind you that you deserve care too. You don't have to wait for a new season, a new month, or a new you Start with one shift today. That's all it takes to begin building calm. In this episode, you discovered why fall is the best time to reset your self-care rhythm for micro changes, to anchor your calm, hydration, walking, eating regularly, and phone free sleep, and how small structure, not big effort, keeps anxiety and stress from building during your holidays. If this episode helps you pause and care for yourself, please share it with a friend who could use a little calm too. I encourage you to find a buddy for this holiday season. Someone you can check in with and gently remind each other to drink water, eat real meals, walk a little and sleep enough to feel merry and bright, because sometimes sharing care is another way to practice it. Thanks for listening, and I'll be back on Monday with more creating midlife calm.