Ep. 201 How Taylor Swift’s “Life of a Showgirl” Interview Can Help Midlife Listeners Cope with Holiday Stress, Anxiety & Chaos

Can Taylor Swift’s approach to calm help you manage midlife stress and anxiety this holiday season? (OMG, is she really talking about holidays???)
You’re not alone — even the most grounded people feel the pull of pressure and expectation this time of year.
In this episode, you’ll discover:
1.    How Taylor Swift’s choice to protect her peace can inspire your own midlife coping skills.
2.    Why setting intentions now helps reduce stress, anxiety, and overwhelm later in the season.
3.    Simple, science-backed ways to trade pressure for presence and design the calm you crave.
 Take 8 minutes to shift from holiday stress to midlife calm — you’re worth it.

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About the Host: 

MJ Murray Vachon, LCSW, is a seasoned clinician, educator, and host of the podcast Creating Midlife Calm, recognized by Maria Shriver as a “Listen of the Week.” Over the past 40 years, MJ has led more than 50,000 therapy sessions and developed the Inner Challenge mental wellness program and the Inner Challenge Master Class, practical tools for emotional regulation, self-awareness, and resilience taught for more than 30 years in junior high schools and at the University of Notre Dame for freshman football players. Through her podcast, teaching, and coaching, MJ helps people build calmer lives, stronger relationships, and healthier communities.

Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support. 

Transcript

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MJ Murray Vachon LCSW 0:00

In this episode, you'll discover how to shape the spirit of your holiday season before it shapes you. Welcome to Creating Midlife Calm, the podcast where you and I tackle stress and anxiety in midlife so you can stop feeling like crap, feel more present at home, and thrive at work. I'm MJ Murray Vachon a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 50,000 hours of therapy sessions and 32 years of teaching practical science-backed mental wellness. Welcome to the podcast. It's October, and anyone in midlife knows what's ahead. In this episode, you'll discover how taking a page from Taylor Swift's playbook can help you move into the holidays with less dread and more calm. You'll explore how to pause before the rush begins so you can decide what kind of energy you want to have this season and how small choices, including how you use your phone, can create a calmer, more connected holiday. On Monday, your Inner Challenge was to take 10 to 15 minutes that you'd usually spend scrolling and trade it for something that fills your tank, like baking cookies, writing a note, or going for a walk this morning I woke up to a text from a friend who listened to the podcast and baked cookies. That's exactly the kind of small, intentional shift that gives your brain space to think clearly and your heart space to connect. As you step into October, you've already started to feel it. The pressure and anticipation that comes with these three months. Yep. The season is coming and before the whirlwind starts, I want you to stop and ask what spirit do you want inside you this year? Maybe you want October to feel lighter, fewer weekend commitments. Have you noticed how every weekend in October has events for Halloween? Maybe you'd like more cozy nights at home, or maybe Halloween is your jam and you love all of these events, and you wanna lean in and go all out on decorating and handing out candy. Whatever You choose the key word here, is choose I want you to consider what it would look like, what it would feel like if you actually designed your holidays around calm and enjoyment instead of pressure. Because if you don't pause now, the season will choose for you and you'll find yourself doing things you don't even enjoy. Wondering where your calm went.

2:38

Which leads me to one of my favorite holiday stories a few years ago, one of my midlife clients hosted a No Phones Thanksgiving, everyone, her adult kids, her mother, their parents, even her husband, left their phones in another room. They brought printed recipes, music through the old speaker system, and actually cooked together. Midway through the meal prep, they realized they didn't have a carving knife, so she went next door to borrow one from her elderly neighbor, who not only lent her a beautiful electric knife, but came over and showed them how to carve the Turkey. That tiny unexpected moment became the highlight of their day. When everyone finally got their phones back, her daughter texted, mom, can we do a no phones Christmas? That's the power of attention and the power of intention. What if this year you gave yourself a holiday season guided by where you want your attention to go, not where your phone tries to pull it. Which brings me to Christmas.

MJ Murray Vachon LCSW 3:52

I know it feels early, but I'm already having my clients talk about it. Anxiety about money, stress about family expectations, and the feeling that the holidays are more burden than joy. What if this year you gently encouraged yourself to dial it down? To choose to do those things that actually allow you to feel grounded more calm and enjoyment. A lot of my clients are feeling a real financial crunch. Last week in session, one of my clients said, I have no idea how we're gonna afford Christmas this year. I asked her to take a few seconds, ground her feet, and just move through that worry, that anxiety after she did that, she looked at me and she said, you know, I could actually shop secondhand stores early. We could also do a scavenger hunt on Christmas morning where finding their presents was part of the whole celebration. And lastly, she said, I could also say finances are tight this year. Remember, honesty can actually deepen connection. That simple pause, grounding her feet, naming and taming her worry, allowed her own creativity to come up with solutions. Remember, you don't have to chase a picture perfect holiday. Why not design one that matches the calm, the creativity that you crave? The truth is midlife holidays can feel overwhelming because your schedule is already full. That's why I say you're not all that different than Taylor Swift during the ERAS tour. You've got so much on your plate work, caregiving, family traditions, and emotional labor, but like Taylor Swift, you have power over your attention. She deletes the apps not to be disciplined, but to be free, You can do the same, not by tossing your phone, but by choosing how and when you give your attention away, it's about values. Taylor protects what matters most to her, and you can do the same this season. Ask yourself, what if I use my phone for music that lifts me up, or a podcast that grounds me? And then I put it down so I can actually feel the moment I'm in. That's how you shift the season from obligation to intention, from overwhelm to calm. In this episode, you discovered how to reclaim your holiday calm before the chaos begins. You learned how a small shift in attention can help you choose the spirit you want this season, Less pressure, more calm and enjoyment. And you heard how no phone Thanksgiving turned a simple meal into connection and community. Remember, your attention is currency. Spend it on what helps you create real connection and calm. If the stress starts building well, as Taylor says, shake it off. Let go of the guilt, the comparison, and the constant scrolling, and make room for the kind of joy that lasts. And lastly, I wanna encourage you to share this episode with two friends, people who wanna move through the next three months with the same values you do. Values that resist the cultural chaos and choose calm connection and joy instead stead. Thanks for listening, and I'll be back on Monday with more creating midlife calm.