Ep. 195 Science-Backed Coping Skills Using the Comfort of Fall to Reduce Midlife Stress and Anxiety

Do you know how the natural comfort of Fall can be used as a science-backed way to calm anxiety?
You’re not alone—many in midlife overlook how the season itself can offer coping skills that reduce stress and restore resilience.
In this episode, you’ll discover:
1.    How to add physical comfort in ways that calm your nervous system and reduce midlife stress
2.    Simple but powerful psychospiritual coping skills for anxiety
3.    How environmental and social comfort can strengthen calm and ease midlife anxiety in everyday life
 Take 12 minutes to reduce stress and anxiety with four science-backed coping skills that lean into the comfort of  Fall!

****

About the Host:
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than 48,000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching her Mental Wellness curriculum, Inner Challenge. Four years ago she overcame her fear of technology to create a podcast that integrated her vast clinical experience and practical wisdom of cultivating mental wellness using the latest information from neuroscience. MJ was Social Worker of the Year in 2011 for Region 2/IN.

Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support.

Transcript

M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW: 0:00

In this episode, you'll discover how to lean into the comfort of fall to build four practical coping skills to ease your anxiety.

MJ Murray Vachon LCSW: 0:08

Welcome to Creating Midlife Calm, the podcast where you and I tackle stress and anxiety in midlife so you can stop feeling like crap, feel more present at home, and thrive at work. I'm MJ Murray Vachon a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 50,000 hours of therapy sessions and 32 years of teaching practical science-backed mental wellness.

M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW: 0:32

Welcome to the podcast. On Monday, episode 1 94, we explored how fall routines can become anchors for your mental health. We talked about the difference between soothing and comfort, and I introduced you to Catherine KBAs Science-Backed Comfort Theory. In today's episode, you are gonna learn why fall is the perfect time to up your game. When it comes to managing your anxiety. I'm gonna continue to build on KBAs research on the theory of comfort and give you four coping skills that you can begin to implement this fall to not only lean into this beautiful season, but to feel less anxious, more calm. In Monday's episode, your Inner Challenge was to choose one comfort ritual and add it to your fall routine. Maybe you try to warm blanket and tea before bed or paused at night to breathe in the crisp fall air. As the season shifts many of us feel. Burst of renewed energy, and this is a perfect time to lean into giving yourself a little more boost when it comes to your mental wellness. Before we dive in, let's go back to the difference between soothing and comfort. Soothing is short term, it numbs or distracts. Think about binging on comfort food, scrolling endlessly or pouring another glass of wine. These things will quiet your anxiety in the moment, but they may leave you feeling worse later. Comfort on the other hand. Is restorative. It doesn't just take the edge off. It grounds you in the present. It calms your body and it gives you a sense of stability that you can return to again and again. That's why comfort is worth building. It strengthens you instead of depleting you. Doing this in fall taps into what psychologists call the fresh start effect, the natural motivation you get when seasons or routines change. Fall is already a season of transformation, so why not add comfort? As a coping skill. That way you are working with the season instead of against it, and it allows you to enjoy all the good things. This season brings pumpkin spice, lattes, trick or treating and family traditions. I found it fascinating to think of comfort. As a coping skill, Katherine Kolcaba, a nurse and a researcher, described comfort as the state that makes you feel stronger. Take that in Comfort is a state that makes you feel stronger. I think comfort often gets a bad rap. I often think people think comfort is the easy way out, but what KBAs research is telling us is it's exactly the opposite of that. She explained that comfort shows up in four parts of your life, your body. Your Inner world, your relationships, and your surroundings. Take that in for a minute. What would it be like if you began to try to cultivate comfort in your body, in your Inner world, in your relationships and your surroundings when you understand the difference between comfort and soothing, and you put it in the context of these four parts of your life, I think it's really transformative. This matters for anxiety because discomfort, whether it's physical tension, restless thoughts, strained relationships, or chaotic environments feeds anxiety. Keeps it alive. But when you intentionally build comfort in these areas, you are going to interrupt that cycle. Your body will feel safer, your mind steadier your heart more connected. Comfort actually becomes a science backed coping skill that reduces anxiety and strengthens resilience. Go figure who says all this has to be hard and uncomfortable, certainly not me. And tying this into fall, a season of comfort makes it both useful and a fun way to up your game when it comes to creating calm. So let's start with coping skill number one, physical comfort. Your physical comfort matters and only you can really know if you're comfortable. Anxiety often robs you of that awareness, leaving your body stuck in overdrive You might get so used to tight shoulders, erasing heart or restless sleep that you don't even notice how much discomfort you're carrying until it becomes serious this fall. Slow down, pause and take time to check in with your body. How does it feel? What does it need? Sometimes something as simple as a massage, adjusting the chair at your computer, replacing worn shoes, or getting up and walking around and stretching after. Sitting for an hour or so can make all the difference. Physical comfort is about relief from discomfort, warmth, relaxation, or good rest. And it matters for anxiety because the body is where stress shows up first. When you restore comfort, perhaps by trying a weighted blanket that calms your nervous system, or a short evening walk, that resets tension. You send your body the message, I'm safe. One of the biggest shifts I've seen in my client's mental health is when they finally invest in a good mattress. If your mattress is as old as your midlife, it might be time to replace it, and doing so can improve both physical and mental wellbeing. Once your body feels safe, the next step is to turn inward and restore comfort to your Inner world coping skill. Number two is psychospiritual comfort. You might be saying, what is Psychospiritual? Psychospiritual comfort is about finding meaning, self-awareness, and Inner peace. Things anxiety, often steal from you in midlife One simple way to bring this back is by creating a poster in your home that says this fall we are grateful for, and invite everyone you live with to add to it as the weeks go on. I have had many families do this over the years, and one of the really powerful shifts it makes is that people begin to learn about each other through the lens of gratitude. Gratitude is so important. Research shows that gratitude lowers anxiety, improves sleep, boosts overall wellbeing by rewiring your brain to notice safety and abundance. Gratitude isn't just some sentimental nice idea. It's a scientific proven way to calm your nervous system and build resilience. One of my clients has really inspired me with her morning practice. She was a person that every morning when she woke up, her body was a buzz and in response to that buzz, her mind would start racing and create stories of things to feel anxious about. She started a gratitude practice, a simple pen and notebook by her bed, and every morning she would make herself write five things. She was grateful for some mornings it was easy. Other mornings she had to push herself, but then after a few months. Something incredible happened. She would wake up and her mind would go to thinking about what she was grateful for. She had actually rewired her brain. That gratitude transformed into comfort, a psycho-spiritual coping skill. Once your spirit feels steadier, the next step is to shape your environment so it supports calm instead of stress. Environmental comfort comes from shaping the spaces around you so they reduce stress instead of adding to it. Your home, your workplace, even your car anxiety is often heightened by clutter, harsh lighting or overstimulation things you may not notice until your body is already on edge this fall. Think about how your environment can actively soothe you. I encourage you as I do with all my clients, to use a full spectrum light that can help regulate circadian rhythm when days grow shorter. This improves mood and energy and it is scientifically based. Every October I put a sign on a table in my office reminding my clients. It's time for their full spectrum lights. Often my clients resist a suggestion, but once they try it, they're surprised at how much it helps Because autumn is the start of lots of new routines I encourage you to ask everyone in your family to play what I call the notice game, every person who lives in the house three times a day notices something that's out of place and then puts it away. As they do it, they yell, notice one. Notice two or notice three. Think about it. If you live with four people that's 12 items, cluttering your space, making your environment prone to anxiety that are put away, that says, did you do your three notices today? Don't forget to add autumn touches to your house and your office. Like candle scented with cinnamon or cedar, they can actually reduce stress. Research shows that pleasant scent trigger the brain's relaxation response. As your energy naturally turns inward toward your home, this season gives special attention to creating spaces that restore calm. And finally, comfort grows stronger when it's shared with others, which leads me to coping skill. Number four, what Kolcaba calls sociocultural comfort, or I call friendship. Sociocultural. Comfort comes from belonging, relationships, and shared rituals. Things that are especially important in midlife when responsibilities can leave you feeling isolated. Anxiety thrives in isolation, but comfort grows when it's shared. One of the biggest challenges of midlife is to pack schedules. They often leave you little time for adult connection. Here's a couple hacks. This one's a radical idea. Skip one of your kids' routine games and go for coffee with your spouse or friend. I coached baseball and softball for years, and I can tell you it is okay to miss a Saturday morning soccer game. Or if you're at the game, walk the field with another parent while your partner keeps watch of the other kids. Then switch at halftime. If you're past that life stage, try a fall book club at your library or a short term seasonal job like working at a pumpkin patch. Trust me, they're always looking for workers. One of my clients did this just to be part of the fall fun and ended up loving the community connection. At abroad. Science shows that social connection lowers anxiety by reducing stress hormones And boosting oxytocin, the bonding chemical that calms your nervous system. By weaving comfort into relationships, you remind yourself you don't have to face midlife stress alone. In this episode, you discovered how to lean into Autumn and Katherine Kolcaba, theory of comfort to increase your coping skills when it comes to anxiety Coping skill. Number one, increase your physical comfort, warmth, rest, gentle movement, coping skill Number two, psychospiritual, comfort meaning and Inner calm. Through gratitude and mindful awareness, coping skill number three, environmental comfort, shaping your surroundings, your home, your office, and your car with light, scent, and seasonal touches and coping skill. Number four, socio-cultural comfort, drawing, belonging, and strength from your friends, your relationships, and your community. Each layer of comfort isn't an indulgence, it's science, and together they form a protective shield against midlife anxiety. Think about which coping skill you need the most right now. Body, spirit, environment, or relationship. Trust what surfaces and just start small. One step is enough to begin shifting your anxiety into calm. Thanks for listening, and I'll be back on Monday with more creating midlife calm.