Ep. 186: Turn Stress Into Action & Get More Done Using This Secret Hack For Midlife Anxiety

Is midlife stress making even simple tasks feel overwhelming?
There’s a powerful, brain-based coping skill that can help you stop avoiding and start doing—with more calm and clarity.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

1.     Why your brain resists certain tasks—and how to gently override it

2.     A simple science backed coping skill that transforms stress and boosts motivation

3.     A real-life example of how this simple shift helped someone finally follow through

🎧 Tune in to learn how to calm midlife stress fast—so you can get things done and feel more in control.

Email me at mj@mjmurrayvachon.com for your free copy of The Mental Movie

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About the Host:
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than 48,000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching her Mental Wellness curriculum, Inner Challenge. Four years ago she overcame her fear of technology to create a podcast that integrated her vast clinical experience and practical wisdom of cultivating mental wellness using the latest information from neuroscience. MJ was Social Worker of the Year in 2011 for Region 2/IN.

Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support.

Transcript

M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW: 0:00

in this episode, you'll discover a simple coping skill that transforms stress into action.

0:06

Welcome to Creating Midlife Calm, the podcast where you and I tackle stress and anxiety in midlife so you can stop feeling like crap, feel more present at home, and thrive at work. I'm MJ Murray Vachon a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 50,000 hours of therapy sessions and 32 years of teaching practical science-backed mental wellness.

M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW: 0:30

Welcome to the podcast. As you shift from the slower pace of summer into the hectic demands of fall, you might feel like you're carrying a backpack full of stress. Your to-do lists are back, and with them comes a familiar pattern. Procrastination. And avoidance in today's episode, I'm gonna share a deceptively simple strategy that helps you move through stress, not around it. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't use this coping skill and there isn't a client in my 50,000 hours of therapy who hasn't learned it. Trust me, in this really busy time of the year. Give me 10 minutes. It will really be worth your time. Let's begin with what stress actually is and why it feeds procrastination. I'm basically giving you a quick refresher from episode 1 79 where we define stress like this. Stress is the feeling that something needs to get done it can be something small like doing the dishes, something medium like mailing your mom's birthday present on time, or something big like scheduling that mammogram'cause you feel a lump. This definition matters because when your brain senses that something is important and unresolved, it kicks into gear. But I bet sometimes instead of acting. You do the opposite. You procrastinate, you scroll, you snack, you delay. That tension between the urgency of needing to get something done and the avoidance creates this low level of stress in your life and in midlife, your responsibilities pile up. This mindless procrastination not only increases your stress, but it steals your quality free time. Now you're playing catch up. Instead of relaxing. That's why I'm really excited to share the coping Skill mental movie with you. It doesn't just help you move through resistance. It frees up time so you can enjoy it. Whether that's taking a walk, having coffee with a friend, or watching your favorite Netflix series. So what is the mental movie technique? A mental movie is exactly what it sounds like. You visualize the task you're putting off. Actually, I did this last night. I was planning on getting up early this morning to walk with a friend. I knew I'd be rushed and possibly forget something if I didn't pack my bag the night before, but I just didn't feel like moving, I was on the couch, settled for the night, tired and just comfy after feeling that tug of war inside of me. I just said out loud. Run the movie, MJ Run the movie, In my mind, I saw myself gathering my clothes and shoes, getting out my makeup, my brush, my comb, putting it all in the bag, nothing dramatic, just a quick mental run through. You might be thinking. Really MJ, I'm supposed to imagine doing it instead of just doing it. Yes. And here's why. Neuroscience tells us that the brain doesn't fully distinguish between doing something and vividly imagining it. In fact, FMRI research shows that visualizing a task, whether it's giving a speech, writing an email, or kicking a field goal. Activates many of the same neural pathways as actually doing it. This gives you a headstart. It lowers your mental resistance. It helps your brain stop catastrophizing and start organizing. And here's the bonus. The brain is lazy. It loves efficiency. When you rehearse something mentally, your brain says, oh, this isn't so bad, and is more willing to cooperate when it's time to begin. So what happened last night after I ran the movie, I got up and in a whopping two minutes, packed my bag and sat down stress free. In midlife. It's easy for you to procrastinate on things that feel overwhelming, tedious, endless, or emotionally heavy, such as scheduling a doctor's appointment, starting paperwork, cleaning out a room full of emotional weight. Your stress is real, but it's also actionable. The mental Movie helps shrink your resistance and build momentum. Let me share a story From the couch. Many of my midlife clients stay up too late just to have some time alone, some time to relax. Instead of going to bed at 10 or 10 30, they're up until midnight or 1:00 AM in my office. I guide them through a mental movie. They visualize winding down intentionally. They picture a relaxing activity and going to bed in time so they can get seven to eight hours of sleep. Here's what's interesting. When someone intentionally imagines their evening routine, no one has imagined scrolling on their phone endlessly. They see themselves doing a little bit of tidying, prepping for the next day, watching a short show, or going on a walk with a dog, then heading to bed on time. Let me share another client's story. I had a client whose closet was so overstuffed she couldn't use it. One day she said to me, I am now using my child's room as an overflow because I can't open my closet. I said to her, let's do a mental movie. On that in session, she closed her eyes and she visualized setting a 20 minute timer, bringing up two boxes. One for goodwill, one for not sure. Taking a small section of clothes and sorting, putting back what she kept and moving the not so sure box to her child's room. I had her repeat this two more times. The second time, as she was doing the same process, she had the thought, oh, I could actually listen to music while I cleaned out the closet. And the third time she said, I could do this for an hour. It's not that big a deal. Two weeks later, when she came to her next appointment, she walked in and she said the closet is clean. More importantly, she told me she had applied the skill of the mental movie to other areas in her life. Wanna know the process for the mental movie? It's simple. Pick one task you've been avoiding. Remember avoidance equals stress. Close your eyes and take a calming breath. Run a mental movie of yourself, starting the task, then moving to the next step. No drama. Just a simple, clear mental picture. Then do the same thing again. Play it again. Noticing what small details or actions you can naturally add, and then play it a third time and observe how you feel. This might take two minutes, maybe less. Then check your body. Most people feel lighter, clearer, more motivated. you and I both know that life has a lot of tedious tasks. Why do we want our stress tied to those? Imagine yourself doing them, moving through them so you can get on and put your energy towards the things that you really want to do. I find it so freeing to know that my brain is lazy the mental movie is a jumpstart. It works for exercise. It works for hard conversations. It works for getting things done without beating yourself up. And all you need is your mind. Ready, set action. Your Inner Challenge for this week is to pick one thing you've been putting off, big or small. Close your eyes and run a mental movie of you doing it. You don't need to finish it. You can just begin because momentum builds from the inside out. If you'd like a PDF of this process, send me an email at mj@mjmurrayvachon.com. I'll put that email in the show notes and I will send you for free this super helpful coping skill. I know it's easy for me on this podcast to give you these coping skills and to say, just try them. On Thursday. I'm gonna bring back one of my favorite segments, but MJ, really a listener's going to join me who I've taught this coping skill to. And we're gonna talk about how she applied it and try to refine it, not just for her understanding, but for yours too. Using the mental movie helps you lean into the truth about your brain and move it from lazy to active. Because who doesn't wanna get stuff done. Of course you wanna feel less stress and create more calm. Thanks for listening, and I'll be back on Thursday with more creating midlife calm.