Ep. 162 The Unbelievable Way Bringing PLAY Back Into Your Life Will Reduce Anxiety & Increase Calm in Midlife

Are you stuck in anxiety and overwhelmed by your never-ending to-do list?
You’re not alone — and the surprising solution might be something you haven’t done in years: play.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

1.  How play calms your brain and reduces anxiety in midlife

2.  The two biggest reasons anxious adults stop playing — and how to overcome          them

3.   Simple coping skills to bring play back into daily life — from joy scrolling to five minutes on a backyard swing

🎧 Press play now to rediscover laughter, lightness, and the forgotten coping skill your midlife brain needs.

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About the Host:
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than 48,000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching her Mental Wellness curriculum, Inner Challenge. Four years ago she overcame her fear of technology to create a podcast that integrated her vast clinical experience and practical wisdom of cultivating mental wellness using the latest information from neuroscience. MJ was Social Worker of the Year in 2011 for Region 2/IN.

Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support.

Transcript

M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW: 0:00

In this episode, you'll discover how bringing five minutes of play back into your day can calm your anxiety.

Built-in Microphone: 0:08

Welcome to Creating Midlife Calm, a podcast dedicated to empowering midlife minds to overcome anxiety, stop feeling like crap and become more present with your family, all while achieving greater success at work. I'm MJ Murray Vachon, a licensed clinical social worker with over 48, 000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching mental wellness.

M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW: 0:31

Welcome to the podcast. Today we're diving into the science and soul of play and why midlife might be the perfect time to rediscover it. By the end of this episode, you'll discover the science behind play and what it does to your brain and body. The two biggest obstacles anxious people face when trying to play, and simple, realistic ways to bring play back into your life, even if it feels like you don't have time. Before we begin, let's revisit Monday's Inner Challenge. I call it the play rewind. I asked you to jot down five activities from your childhood that lifted your spirits, things you enjoyed, things that made time disappear. If you haven't done it yet, take five minutes to do so after this episode. The list is more than a memory. It's a map. A map to fun, creativity, and enjoying the present with a lot less anxiety. You don't have to return to the past. Just reconnect with what once made your whole self feel light, your spirit soar Let's start with the hard truth. Anxiety makes play difficult. When you're constantly scanning for danger, trying to control outcomes or carrying the mental load for your family or workplace play can feel wasteful, even irresponsible. Or selfish. do you Feel like you have to earn the right to relax or be silly? The problem is anxiety shuts down the very neural pathways that allow for curiosity, spontaneity, joy, and fun. Instead of helping you be present, anxiety pulls you into the future, worrying, predicting, and preparing. It's a wonder so many of you feel disconnected from anything lighthearted, but play is not childish. It's human. It's a core part of resilience. Your body is built for play and it needs it. Honestly, I think one reason so many people feel anxious is because they never get a real break. Now, for the good news, I. Play is medicine for the brain and the body. When you engage in play, whether it's dancing, doodling, goofing off, or roughhousing with your dog, cuddling with your cat and child, your brain lights up in a way that promotes flexibility, creativity, and emotional regulation. Play activates your prefrontal cortex, helping you think more clearly. It also helps to quiet the amygdala. Your fear center. And laughter. Laughter is powerful. Did you know that laughter therapy has been shown to lower blood pressure, boost immunity, and increase serotonin and endorphins? Even fake laughter can trick your brain into releasing feel good chemicals. Let me share a story from the couch. One of my midlife clients came to therapy with weekly panic attacks. She was overwhelmed. Driving kids to practice managing laundry, fielding daily calls from an elderly parent, worrying about the economy. And yes, working full-time. She learned coping skills and reduced your panic, but a heavy joyless feeling lingered. So in one session, I played a 32nd laugh track. She looked me irritated and said, what are you doing? I said, trying to make you laugh. She replied, oh, I never laugh. I played it again. Same look, but around the 22nd mark. She smiled. Then a tiny laugh, She asked me. What's the point, MJ? I said if you can panic, you can laugh. You just have to integrate it into your day. And that's the first major obstacle to play the belief that you've forgotten how The second, I don't have time. I get it. I've seen thousands of to-do lists over my career, and yes, many of you love them and hate them. They give you little hits of dopamine every time you check something off, but they also convince you there's no space for fun. Here's the fix. Put play on your to-do list. The problem becomes the solution. That's how many of my clients make space for it. They choose to turn their attention just for a few minutes towards something that makes them smile, laugh, or even feel lighter. It's a bit like taking a vitamin. The secret. You don't wait for time to appear. You make time by naming play as a priority. Let's talk about bringing play back. Even though I know you are incredibly busy, let's start with the digital world. One client told me she paused her True Crime podcast and replaced it with a midlife comedian talking about family life. She laughed out loud in the car and realized just how heavy her usual content had been making her feel. Even better. She listened to the comedian while she was cooking dinner, and before she knew it, her kids were all standing around in the kitchen laughing with her. Why? Because laughter is contagious. So try this prompt. Type into Google or chat GPT. Give me five podcasts that will make a midlife person laugh. No celebrity interviews, no politics. This midlifer loves family and dogs or cats or dancing or whatever tickles your funny bone. I've. Tried this with clients and in seven seconds we found gems like Schmanners and can I pet your dog? You have seven seconds, don't you. Next choose shows or films that bring out laughter. this isn't extra time, it's a swap. You're replacing something draining with something joyful, something fun. Then try this. Swap doom scrolling for joy scrolling. Funny pet reels. Silly toddler videos. Wholesome mischief. Laughter is everywhere, even in your pocket. Just remember even joy scrolling needs limits. Too much dopamine all at once can drain your brain. Eventually move into real world play. If you haven't listened to episode 1 62, go back and check it out. It's all about reconnecting with your childhood play. Here's the thing. If you wait until retirement to play, you'll have the time, but no practice. Here's your experiment. Schedule four sessions of real play each week. Aim to do at least two. What counts Doing art, music, dancing, riding, gardening, singing, hopscotch, checkers, water balloon fight, biking, whatever makes your heart soar. Feel free to try my favorite five minutes on the backyard swing. Keep it light, keep it joyful. Choose things that don't have a productive purpose. and Be gentle with yourself. Anxious. People often turn play into a performance, into something I must do. If you miss a session, be flexible and adaptive and under no circumstances, shame yourself. This morning I skipped writing and let myself sleep in. Why? Because rest two is a form of play. I'll write on Saturday when I'm not so exhausted. Can you see now play doesn't have to be hard. You are not too busy. You are not too old. You just need a reminder. Your nervous system still remembers joy. Your nervous system still remembers fun. It just needs a bit of a jumpstart. In this episode, you discovered the science, of how play reduces anxiety, the two biggest obstacles to play, and realistic, joyful ways to bring play back into your daily life. Anxiety says stay alert, play says you're safe. You're allowed to feel good. You don't need permission. Just a little practice, and if you're really stuck, don't hesitate to find your own personal play coach. In fact, I have a session with mine later today, my 4-year-old great niece. I'm not sure what activities she'll be coaching me in. Maybe a trip to the zoo, the zip line at the playground, or a masterpiece in finger painting, whatever it is. I know this, she will always remind me how easy it is to laugh, move, and play, as long as I'm willing to follow her lead. Today's your turn to laugh to play, or just follow the lead of someone who still knows how. If you found this episode helpful, please feel free to forward it to one of your friends or loved ones that you think would benefit from relearning how to play. Thanks for listening, and I'll be back on Monday with more creating midlife calm.